clouted.fun

how it works

clouted.fun turns a trader into a market. Anyone can buy a key to anyone else; the price is set by a formula rather than by bids; and holding a key is what gets you into that person's chat, where the calls actually happen. There is no order book and no counterparty. You always trade against the curve.

Everything settles in ETH on Robinhood Chain. Six things are worth understanding before you buy anything, and the last two are the ones people skip.

01

A trader opens their own market

A market stays closed until its owner buys their own first key. At supply zero the curve charges nothing, so opening costs only gas, and nobody else can buy in before they do. That one rule is what stops a market existing for a trader who never agreed to have one — and it is why you cannot open a market for someone else, however much you would like to.

02

The price is a curve, not an opinion

With n keys already out, the next one costs n² ÷ 16000 ETH. Every purchase moves the price up the curve for the next buyer; every sale moves it back down. Nobody quotes a spread and there is nothing to match — the formula is the entire market, which is why being early is the only edge that exists here.

Next key
0.156ETH
Keys sold
50
Market cap
2.53
0.1410.2820.4230.564125487295
showing the first 95 keys
At 1 keys
0.00006
$0.154
At 10 keys
0.0063
$15.39
At 25 keys
0.039
$96.18
At 50 keys
0.156
$384.74
At 100 keys
0.625
$1.5k
At 200 keys
2.50
$6.2k

The curve is quadratic, so it is nearly flat at the start and very steep later. Going from 10 keys to 20 roughly quadruples the price. That is the whole design: it makes the first few keys cheap enough to be worth a punt and the hundredth expensive enough to mean something.

03

Every trade pays 10%

Five percent goes to the trader whose key it is, five percent to the protocol, on buys and on sells alike. The subject's cut accrues to them the moment the trade lands and they can claim it whenever they like. It is not a vesting schedule or a promise.

90% curve
5% subject 5% protocol
What a round trip actually costs

Say 20 keys are out and you buy one.

Curve price
0.025 ETH$61.56
Subject fee · 5%
0.0013 ETH
Protocol fee · 5%
0.0013 ETH
You pay
0.028 ETH$67.71
Sell it back immediately
0.022 ETH$55.40

Both sides pay, so you buy at the curve plus 10% and sell at the curve minus 10%. The curve price therefore has to rise about 22% before a round trip breaks even — which, because price goes as supply squared, takes only about 11% more keys sold. Those two numbers get confused constantly. It is the first one you are paying and the second one you are waiting for.

04

A key gets you into their chat

Hold at least one key and that trader's private chat opens to you. Sell your last one and it closes again. The chat is what the key is actually for: it is where the calls land before the timeline sees them. The price is just what it costs to stay in the room while other people want in too.

Access is checked on the server on every read and every write, against what you hold right now — not against a token handed out when you joined. One key is enough; a hundred gets you the same chat and a much larger position.

The final key can never be sold. Letting supply return to zero would strand the chat and leave a curve that could not restart.

05

Signing in with X gives you a wallet

X is the only way in, and that is structural rather than a preference: on a market made of people, an anonymous address is unbuyable, because nobody can judge whether to buy a stranger's hash. Signing in mints you a wallet on Robinhood Chain that is yours — self-custodial, exportable from Settings, and usable in any wallet app you like.

It starts empty, so the first thing to do is send it some ETH on Robinhood Chain. ETH sent on Ethereum mainnet, Base, or any other network will not arrive.

06

How a trade actually settles

There is no contract holding the market. One vault wallet holds the curve's liquidity: buys pay into it, sells and fee claims pay out of it, and the ledger of who holds what lives in a database.

  1. 1You ask for a price. The server quotes the curve and writes that quote down, pinned to the supply it was quoted at, good for three minutes. The price never comes from your browser — otherwise a browser could name it.
  2. 2You send exactly that amount to the vault from your wallet. This is the only step you sign.
  3. 3The server reads your transaction and its receipt and checks it really was a successful transfer, of at least the quoted amount, from you, to the vault. Only then do the keys become yours, and the quote is retired so one payment cannot be spent twice.

Selling is one step and you sign nothing: the server checks your position and pays you out of the vault, and records the sale only once the transfer has confirmed.

The part you should know

That design is custodial. Your keys are a row in a database and your exit liquidity sits in a wallet this site controls, not in a contract you could call yourself. Your own wallet is genuinely yours and the ETH in it is yours; the position is a claim on us. Size it accordingly.